Montrose Parent Group

Written by Bethany Coop, Behavior Consultant

For most people time-out consists of a child sitting in achair in the corner for a specified amount of time.  But time-out can actually be used for a childof any age or ability, and there are many different kinds.  The easiest form to implement would beplanned ignoring.  This is simplyignoring a child’s behavior.  An exampleof this would be when you don’t respond to the question, “Are we there yetmom?”  Another form of time out would bewhen a child is excluded from an activity. “You can’t play that game for five minutes because you misbehaved.” Inthis case the child can do other activities, just not the one where there was aproblem behavior.    Those are fairly simple and common forms thatare easy to implement.

 Did you know thattime-in actually affects time-out?

What is time-in? Time-in is simply all other time a child spends not in time-out.  If a child is put in time-out when nobody hasbeen paying attention to him; Time-out may not be any different from time-in.   To make time-out effective it is important thata child is actually removed from an enjoyable time-in. 

Time-in should be interactive and fun.  My children participate in most of what I amdoing throughout the day.  It is time-consumingbut a lot of fun.   When I am researchingon the computer my son can play next to me on his toy computer, or we can talkabout what we see on the screen.   We sing songs for all of our routines:  “Rubba Dubba its time to scrub our back inthe tuba…”, “Daddy’s working, Daddy’s working,..”,  “All dressed up with no place to go…”,”Cleanup, Clean up everybody everywhere…”  Mostare songs that have simply been made up. Silly songs keep a child engaged, expand their vocabulary, and makestime-in enjoyable.  We even dance to thesongs in commercials.   Family movienight is always a big hit.  We make apallet on the floor with pillows and blankets big enough for all of us to rollaround on.  The kids pick the movies, butwe spend most of the time singing to the songs, wrestling, having pillow fightsand just being goofy.   My children help with dinner time as well.  They get to pick which bread or veggie we aregoing to eat.  When possible they canpour in the ingredients, help mommy stir, or place the dinner rolls on thecookie sheet.  Dinner time is always adifficult time because children don’t want to wait to eat.  So we color or play with play dough while thefood is cooking.  We always sit as afamily for dinner at the table with the TV off. Other times in the day when I notice the natives are getting restless wewill sit down and play a game or read a book.   During the summer the sprinklers are always abig hit, and when mom or dad join in--watch out for the giggles. 

 It is not necessaryfor parents to plan every second of a child’s day or to spend any money.  Children are actually pretty good at coming upwith fun things to do on their own.   Look for moments where you can include yourchild or you can be included in their fun. If you attempt to engage with your child regularly you may find thattime-out is a concept you rarely have to use.